Loud People

It always amazes me when my class gets out of hand, yelling and throwing things across the room, and someone cuts through all the noise with one well placed, powerful "SHH!"Everyone hears it which is ironic-ish? because the actual sound of "shh" means be quiet, and making the sound usually does the exact opposite in a classroom situation. After the chouchou "shh's" everyone, (tongue twister?), it's quiet for about half a second and then it's broken by loud cries of "WOW TEACHERS PET" or "THAT WAS A LOUD SHH!"So it's probably better to not even make the sound shh, even if you're doing it quiet, because it just annoys people and has no effect.

Another thing that I always notice is that when tests are passed back to students, there is always atleast three students who feel the need to quietly yet wanting-you-to-hear say "YESSSSSSSSSSS". It sounds more like a hiss, really, and it's extremely annoying.
Especially if you received your test with a large red C- circled in thick marker multiple times on it. Then you just want to slap those people repeatedly across the face with some organic material like a salmon or an apple.

So like I've told you before the Sims 3 comes out tomorrow. On the 20th. You have no idea how angry I am that my computer doesn't work. I wake up early in the morning at like 6:30 (a.m., not p.m.) and get ready really fast and then run to the bus station. I arrive at school around 7:30 which is just enough time to write a blog post and check my Facebook in the school computer lab. I wonder if Mr. Lu would let me put the Sims on a computer in the lab. I'll ask him.

I'm going to go watch a movie (sorry, I mean film).

Let's Go To The East Side

I sometimes open Microsoft Word on my computer and type bad things.
I do this because a while ago, I used to go on Facebook when I was supposed to be doing my homework and I got in big trouble. So my dad said he might put one of those home keylogger programs on the computer to see if I had been on Facebook while I was supposed to be doing my homework or to get all my passwords to check if I had been making drug deals or to see if I had been looking at porn (he didn't actually say this but I think this was his hidden motive which is stupid because I'm not a 16 year old boy).

So I type bad things so that I might finally get him to admit that he actually did put a keylogger on it and then I can get super angry at him, or if he never mentions it, I know he didn't.
I type them into Microsoft Word, or send fake Facebook messages to random people. For example, here's one I sent to Sydney and Stephanie.

"hey dudes whats up

friday night 11 pm outside syd's house?
steph you bring the weed"

Here's another one I wrote in Facebook chat.

"Hi dad. I'm babysitting right now but in a few minutes I'm going out to the alley behind our apartment to meet my drug dealer boyfriend to do some coke and heroin. How am I buying it? I steal money from mom's purse and occassionaly, if I can't find any, I steal women's purses. Tonight I'm going to the East side to work my favorite corner near Pigeon Park and then I'm attending a homeless person party in a dilapidated warehouse where I'll pick my illegitimate child up and make some deals."

My favorite, however, was this.

"Hey yo whats up. i need to pick up those fishnets and condoms from your house... can't have another abortion stealing from clients is getting harder. anyways ill see you tomorro night around 9 . you buying?"

It's my favorite because turns out I actually went downtown the next night at 8:30 and my dad looked worried when I left. Maybe it was just my imagination.

I made sure that I didn't write this article on my home computer, because that would ruin it. I hope he doesn't look at this article. Hi dad!

Non-Allergenic?

I think that "non-allergenic" products are completely stupid. I know people that are allergic to everything: almonds, perfume (ahem, Valerie), cheese, lemons, computers, apples, boots, peanuts, sunshine, hemlock trees, education, tomatoes, tortilla chips, green eyes. Non-allergenic products are so dumb.

"This granola bar is non-allergenic."
What does that mean? The granola bar making company just took out one of the twelve kinds of sugar they used and those who were allergic to glucosugarmetholiyneglucofluorineglucoaspartamecyanide are fine 'cause this granola bar is non allergenic!

"This peanut is non allergenic!"
Yeah. Those who are allergic to peanuts don't have to worry because, even though it's a peanut, it's not really. It's not a real peanut. It's made of fake peanut fakeness. So it's non allergenic.

"Made with non allergenic ingredients."
Seriously what does this mean? People can be allergic to anything so labeling something as non allergenic means nothing.
I can't explain my thought process to you because you can't understand the sophisticatedness of my mind. I do good. I do gud.

Do you get it? Anyway, today Valerie saw the magazine Nylon. I don't blame her for wanting to rip it in half; I would too.

Computer

Well, it really sucks. Because my computer hardrive is broken, or the computer crashed, or something like that, and when I log it on it stays at this black screen that says this:

"You downloaded too much porn so now you are getting punished for your sins."



It doesn't actually say that because if it did I would smash the computer with the hammer I made in Tech-Ed because that's just gross.

What it actually says is this:

"The Microsoft Word icon hasn't been touched in months, and yet Runescape has been typed into the address bar more than 20,000 times. Repent."

It doesn't actually say that beacuse I don't play Runescape barely ever. Only, like, once or twice a month. I'm pretty l33t and not a n00b. What does that mean?

What it actually says is this:

"Downloading 'cute kitten backgrounds' and 'cute puppy icons' instead of clicking the big button on the Hunger Site. That's why I won't work for you."

I only have a few cute kitten backgrounds so thats obviously not why it won't work for me.

Just finished our planning PSA for MARIJUANA!
Bad.

University

So I think those who are in high school in the 2000s are better off. Because if I ask any adult that I know, most of them will say that they didn't go to university. And they still hold pretty tight (yeah tight, as in cool, not loose) jobs that these days, would normally require a university degree. I mean, this means more work for us because if we go to apply for an accounting job, and don't have a degree (or a diploma, ish) it would be super difficult. And if by chance we did get the job, I don't know wtf we would do. We wouldn't know how to... account. If we didn't go to university. That's what our teachers tell us. So we're better off.

Anyway my computer is dead. The hardrive is messed up or something. I don't really mind 'cause I can do it at school, but what will happen when Sims 3 comes out on February 20th and our computer is broken. What will happen.
Snow happens.

T9 is a Him

I hate t9 because I referred to it as a him and now I can't stop referring to things as males.
I've never named my inanimate objects before in my life except for my guitar four years ago -- I named it Zach but it's not named that anymore so none of my things have names until yesterday.

T9 is Mr. T and not Mrs. or Miss T. My computer is now Clint (not as in Eastwood and not as in Clinteeta which is a girl name). My phones name is Phyll and that's not a typo. 'Kinda like Phyllosphorm. Ian is my iPod. Grant is my Gameboy. Joey is my Gameboy colour.
These names came to me today while I was lying bed and now I can't shake them off and I'm not just kiddin' ya like I usually do. I can't stop calling them by their names in my head and since my parents aren't home (yes, kids, I just broke the unbreakable law of the telephone/internet: never tell people you are home alone) I haven't yet had the chance to interact with humans in RL so not out loud yet.

Notice how all these names are male names. I don't know what this says about me but it certainly reassures Phyll and I think, for sexist reasons, I might have to add an '-is' to the end of his name. Clinteeta and Ianessa. Grantesse and Joeya.
I'm gonna' go watch WWE.

Sigh

In math class funny things happen. We record bathroom times and pass notes while Ms. Kemble is looking. I always do this because I really want her to take it away and read it to the class 'cause the stuff we say is pretty funny.
Today I looked at Taylor's eyelashes which are unnaturally long. They touch her eyebrows (or almost) if she looks up. I'm jealous.
I asked her if I could rip them out and keep them in a little box. And then I smelled Valerie, who has the nicest perfume, and asked her if I could bottle her scent.
Weirdzies.

I'm not in a very generous and write-y mood righ' (right) now because I haven't eaten in 4 days
'cause I'm doing a fast. So thanks. For making my life interesting because it's not interesting without you because you make it interesting and without you it would be really uninteresting hence I'm thanking you for making it interesting. Thanks. For making it interesting.

Salut.