Non-Allergenic?

I think that "non-allergenic" products are completely stupid. I know people that are allergic to everything: almonds, perfume (ahem, Valerie), cheese, lemons, computers, apples, boots, peanuts, sunshine, hemlock trees, education, tomatoes, tortilla chips, green eyes. Non-allergenic products are so dumb.

"This granola bar is non-allergenic."
What does that mean? The granola bar making company just took out one of the twelve kinds of sugar they used and those who were allergic to glucosugarmetholiyneglucofluorineglucoaspartamecyanide are fine 'cause this granola bar is non allergenic!

"This peanut is non allergenic!"
Yeah. Those who are allergic to peanuts don't have to worry because, even though it's a peanut, it's not really. It's not a real peanut. It's made of fake peanut fakeness. So it's non allergenic.

"Made with non allergenic ingredients."
Seriously what does this mean? People can be allergic to anything so labeling something as non allergenic means nothing.
I can't explain my thought process to you because you can't understand the sophisticatedness of my mind. I do good. I do gud.

Do you get it? Anyway, today Valerie saw the magazine Nylon. I don't blame her for wanting to rip it in half; I would too.