Mutant Fruits and Other Things

You know how sometimes in life, you have an epiphany. You look at something differently, or have an impulse to do something that will ultimately affect you later in life. Well, I had one of these today. As I was about to exit my house to go to school, I walked past the fruit bowl and impulsively reached out and grabbed an apple and it gave me many opportunities to make jokes later on in the day.

Epiphany.

Anyway I was in advisory and I grabbed my apple out of my bag and noticed the size of it. I gasped and showed it to Stephanie (rhymes with epiphany). It was probably the size of my father's head.
Why do humans feel the need to make giant, abnormally sized things? Apples are supposed to be around 155 grams, and have about 300 cubic centimeters in area... or perimeter... something like that that I was supposed to learn in grade 8. But regardless, this apple was atleast 3 times larger than an average apple and I was outraged. Come to think of it humans giant size shrimp, bananas (I had one that was probably 15 inches long), pineapple, grapefruit (wholly unnecessary because why would anyone want gross grapefruit to be giant sized), grapes, mice, chickens, cows, dinosaurs.

And weirdo farmers cross breed fruits as well, which is just weird. Like grapples. Grape apples. Smells like a grape, is purple, but tastes like an apple. If you like them both so much, just take a bite of an apple. Then! Put a grape in your mouth. Grapple-y goodness without weird fruit breeding.

I wonder if the fruits have sex and then produce little mixed-breed fruit babies. I wonder if the pure fruits are racist towards the mixed-breed fruit.