Ear Implantations and Plastic Surgery

I was looking at my ears today, just something I do occasionally. And then I looked at a box that was on my desk which was full of very heavy textbooks that really hurt if you dropped them on your foot, but anyway, on the box was some Mandarin characters.
Now, if you have spoken to me for at least four minutes on the internet or in RL (real life), I will have surely told you that I took Mandarin classes because it's a great bragging point for me even though I can only remember two words. Anyway, I couldn't read it.

So I thought that maybe people (and by people I mean someone that is not me because it's too hard) should make ear implants and eye implants that make you able to hear and read any language immediately. Either that or just make glasses and ear add-ons (similar to hearing aids) so that people don't have to go through the dangers of surgery. I won't list them on here because it's boring but late at night I went on Wikipedia and looked at all the side affects of general surgery and now they're running through my head so ask one day.

I want to get plastic surgery on my ears and wrists. Not actually, but people get the weirdest things done. I wonder if there's a way where you could extend your neck like a giraffe.

P.S.: Angela, refrain from complimenting Sydney on her blog's originality etc. because it's going to her head.