Small Towns

I used to live in a small town of 10,000 people. I then moved to a large city of about 2 million people. If it’s hard for you to imagine a change like that, I’ll make it easier for you. Think of it this way: you live in a town with 10,000 people in it and then you move to a city with 2 million people in it.

But anyway, I visited my dear old small town last weekend. I was wearing a regular casual outfit: tights and a denim dress with Uggs. I was sporting my regular haircut: slightly longer than shoulder length, with bangs. I walked around with my regular walk: one foot in front of the other. I walked around with my regular expression on my face: not smiling, not frowning, just right (this expression is commonly seen on a Baby Bear who lives in a particular cottage in the woods with his Papa and Mama).

You might be wondering why I’m describing exactly what I looked like last weekend. These simple details made everyone that I passed by on the streets of this small town look at me with scorn, chuckle meanly as I walked by, or make confused sounds as I walked on by with my neutral expression, normal outfit, and average stroll.

Perplexed, I asked my mother the next day why this happened. Having lived in a small town her whole teenage life, and then having moved to a large city, and then having returned frequently since, she knew exactly what “went down” (if you use this term in a small town be prepared to get curb stomped). Apparently my tights and denim dress, arrogant walk (what the fuck? I try to not have an arrogant walk so much that you could use me as an example if you wanted to show someone what an arrogant walk was not), and haughty expression (again, what the fuck? An expression of calm indifference lives on my face at all times in an old Brooklyn apartment with a fire escape and vintage cabinets) enraged them to the point that they felt the need to gossip viciously about how egotistical I was, etc., etc., etc.

It appears that these small towners found my metropolitan (metrosexual) attitude and outfit intimidating and egotistical. They looked down upon me at the same time, though, because they thought they were superior.

For sure (congratulate me for not saying “fer sure” or fo’ shizzle”).

Superiority: The single movie theatre in the town gets “recent” movies 3 months after it gets released in Iran.
Superiority: Girls are still wearing skate shoes and hippie flares.
Superiority: The single high school in town has one of the lowest Post Secondary Institution attendances in Canada.